I've had three different interactions lately that brought this coaching exercise to mind, so I'm taking that as a sign that I should share it with you today! If you downloaded “3 coaching exercises to help you reclaim your agency when the world feels like a dumpster fire,” then this will sound familiar, and add more ideas for how to use it!
Spheres of Control, Influence, & Concern
There are a lot of different names for this one, but that's the label I've landed on. It's pretty common among coaches and therapists as a way to help focus your attention on the things that are actually within your control.
This came up recently with a coaching client whose team is reacting to the way their institution is responding to budget cuts – which is a pretty common theme right now. Finding out that your health insurance premiums are going up while your salary is staying stagnant, so your paycheck is about to be smaller, is legitimately upsetting.
It came up in the past with a middle manager who was leading a department through a renovation. In that case, the team had a lot of thoughts about what the library needed to best serve their students, but they didn't feel like the people making the decisions were listening to them. Having your whole workplace redesigned by people who aren't involving you at all is legitimately stressful.
It's normal and healthy to have some space for venting and mutual support in these sorts of situations. The problem comes in when the team stays there for longer than is healthy.
This exercise includes some space to name all of the things that are stressing people out and acknowledge that they are legitimate concerns, with a structure to move on from there.
I'll start with a description of the exercise, and then go into more detail on modifying it for use with your team.
Essentially, it challenges you to categorize things into one of three categories, which are drawn as concentric circles.
- What concerns seem out of our control? (Everything else)
- What things might we be able to influence? (Sphere of influence)
- What is within our control to actually do? (Sphere of control)
Start with the outside ring, and then start moving inward. This lets you put all of your cards out on the table and acknowledge any elephants in the room, but without getting stuck there.
Using this with your team
Y'all know by now that everything I say depends on context! So there are times when this can be useful to jump into on the spot, and other times when it can be useful to prepare your team in advance for this exercise. And your own comfort level with leading an exercise like this is a legitimate factor in deciding which way to go.
If you're in a department meeting that's in the process of being derailed anyway by people complaining about things that are beyond y'all's control, then this could be a way to turn that conversation around on the spot.
If you're noticing that your department is becoming really negative around the metaphorical water cooler, then it may be worth it to set this as the agenda for your next department meeting. In that case, you can introduce it as a response planning exercise, if they'll respond better to that framing.
If you plan ahead, then I'd encourage you to share the exercise with your team in advance. As someone who tends to be more of a slow thinker, I appreciate time to let ideas marinate before I have jump into conversations like this. You can also set up an anonymous way for people to start sharing their thoughts ahead of the meeting, using something like a padlet or jotboard.
Once you're in the meeting, set a timer for the outer ring
If you do this on the spot, 20 minutes into an hour-long meeting, maybe you say “ok, let's take 10 minutes to just put all of our frustrations out on the table, and then start looking at what we can do about it.”
If you plan ahead to have a whole hour-long meeting focused on this, then maybe you can spend 15 minutes filling out that outer ring.
Either way, having that space to acknowledge those frustrations is valuable, while the timer keeps you from getting stuck there.
The challenge for you is to actually move on when that timer goes off. You have to hold that boundary!
Shift focus to the middle ring
This ring moves the conversation toward those areas where we can take some agency, without pressure to jump all the way into that inner circle just yet!
Set your timer for the same amount of time as you spent on the outer ring, and start brainstorming. Know that it may take some encouragement, and you may need to be the first one to throw an idea out there to get the ball rolling.
For example, thinking of using this during a renovation... one idea that could come up here is something related to maintaining relationships with students and faculty while the physical library is closed. We can influence that, but that depends on those students responding to our efforts.
Start brainstorming action steps
When you're ready to move into the inner circle, you can treat those ideas from the influence zone as goals, and brainstorm what actions could help you achieve them.
Using that idea from the renovation, what actions could you take to try to maintain your relationships with students and faculty?
That might include planning a communication campaign, outreach activities outside of the library, and submitting requests for things to your admin.
Other ideas that could apply to any stressful situation could be exploring how your team can prioritize your own wellness. That could look like taking regular breaks, discussing workload management and clearer expectations, supporting one another in saying “no” to just one more committee appointment, and/or whatever else will work for your team.
How do you see yourself using this exercise?
Let me know what ideas come to mind for you!
Reply to this email or add your own post-it note to the board!
And if you've already used this with your team, please tell me more about how it went!