When I sent the last issue of this newsletter super late last week, I was thinking it might be the only issue this month. But surprise, here I am, back in your inbox on my regular schedule!
This year, I've been trying out hosting free monthly open discussions focused on topics related to leading with curiosity, to very limited success. Sometimes we had a good conversation, but just as often, it has been just me in the room. At the same time, I know that I haven't done a great job of promoting them every month. So just as I did as a librarian when a program flopped, I'm wondering whether this is something that you're not interested in or whether I just didn't do enough to promote it.
I have two more on the calendar this year, so I'm going to do a better job of telling you about them early, and see how it goes! If I should stop trying to make fetch happen (Mean Girls reference), then I'll let it go at the end of this year!
The next Curious Leaders Discussion is on Nov 12, focusing on creating space to rest and reflect.
What do you need to do for yourself before the end of the year, so that you can actually take some time to rest and recharge over the holiday season?
Recognizing how busy this time of year can be, I'm imagining you staring at screen, wondering why it's worth an hour of your time to show up to talk about creating space to rest, when your to do list will probably be longer than the time you have available that week. If every minute not getting through that list takes away from the time you have for rest, how does talking about rest help?
Here's my answer:
As long as you're stuck in react mode, you're never going to get to that time for rest and reflection.
You need to work on shifting yourself from being reactive to being proactive.
Some of the pieces that go into that include:
- Being really clear about what's most important to you – and we can break that down into talking about your own core values or about your priority goals at work;
- Building strategies to effectively manage your own workload, so that you don't wind up double-booking yourself (whether you do that literally with meetings or metaphorically by agreeing to too many projects happening around the same time);
- Getting better at setting and maintaining boundaries around your time – which includes learning to say no in a way that won't lead to negative consequences.
Now, that's a LOT more than we'll get into in a one hour discussion!
I teach a whole 4 week Library Juice course around this work, and that just scratches the surface.
Which piece of this whole puzzle we focus on in the Curious Leaders discussion will depend on who shows up. It'll be an opportunity for you to talk through where you're getting hung up in this process, and meet others who are dealing with the same challenges.
What on earth does this have to do with coaching?
When I started this draft, I thought this was going to be a shorter than usual issue. It turns out I have a LOT to say about this!
1. Do you currently feel like you have time to coach your team members?
One of the biggest obstacles I hear from leaders who want to use more of a coaching approach to leadership is that they just don't have time for it.
When your team member drops by your office to ask how they should proceed on a project – one of those many decisions that go into planning an outreach event, library program, instruction session, data cleanup project, or any number of other things where there's no one correct procedure to follow – you have choices in how you respond.
When you're barely keeping your head above water in trying to meet your deadlines, the fastest response is to just give them a solution. Here's what I would do. In the best case scenario, that keeps the wheels on the bookmobile, but it doesn't develop their ability to work through those decisions on their own, so that they can take more ownership of their work. In other cases, that actually doesn't help at all, because your advice is based on assumptions that aren't entirely true in this instance.
A coaching response takes a little more time. It may not take as long as you're imagining, sometimes less than 10 min, but even that's like 5 times as long as it takes to just tell you what I'd do.
It takes more time to start by asking questions like:
- What ideas are they already considering?
- What obstacles are they getting hung up on?
- What support or resources would they need to be able to move forward with one of those ideas?
But taking that time comes with several important benefits:
- They get better at working through these challenges on their own
- You both get a better understanding of what the actual challenge is, instead of acting based on assumptions
- You're supporting them in making a decision, while giving them the autonomy to make that decision, which is a huge factor in improving employee morale
- And many more!
Of course, this isn't the explicit topic of our next Curious Leaders discussion.
Instead, since it's in November, when folks in the US start looking at Thanksgiving break, and then we start heading into the winter holidays, it felt relevant to focus on the much smaller goal of creating space to reflect and rest in this limited time frame.
But I will encourage you to reflect on how you can build on the small things you do to reach this goal to then build a habit of creating this space for yourself throughout the upcoming year!
2. Regular reflective practice is crucial to effective leadership
Reflective practice is absolutely essential to using a coaching approach, but I'd say that extends to any leadership approach that you choose to use.
A lot has already been written about the value of reflective practice within librarianship. Since this is already longer than intended, I'm going to assume you've already heard these arguments!
The challenge is that it takes time, which all too often feels in short supply.
So what will help you create space to reflect as we shift into the last couple of months in this year?
3. Rest is absolutely essential to your ability to do much of anything well
Driving while sleep deprived can be as dangerous as driving drunk.
The conditions in that study are pretty extreme – awake for 24 hours vs at the legal BAC limit in Scotland, which is lower than many US states.
You're probably getting some sleep, but are you getting at least 7 hours every night? There are a lot of negative cognitive and physical effects associated with not getting enough sleep.
And sleep is only one type of rest that we need.
There are 7 different types of rest that we all need to function well long term.
When you're not getting enough rest, you're going to have a much harder time regulating your emotions, focusing on actively listening, and mentally processing the information that's being shared with you – all of which are important for effectively coaching your team members.
Taking care of your own wellbeing is a critical leadership skill.
Acknowledging structural factors
One of the things I dislike about most of the “wellbeing” stuff out there is that it focuses on individual action, when our actions are being constrained by the structures we're working within. It's a lot easier to carve out time for your priorities when you're not stuck in a culture of urgency, reporting to a boss who wants everything done immediately.
But those structures are upheld by individuals.
So how are you going to throw sand in those cogs? How are you going to jam a stick into the spokes of that wheel?
Creating space for rest and reflection can be one tiny step toward changing the culture.
I'm not here to help you feel good about maximizing your productivity in this culture of urgency. I'm here to help you break that system and build something better.
So whether you join me in November or not, I hope you'll take some time to think through how you're going to carve out a little more space for these priorities.
Invitations
Join the next Curious Leaders Discussion on Nov 12 at 5pm London / 12pm Eastern / 9am Pacific. These are open, facilitated discussions, not presentations to just tune in to watch. There are no participation grades to force anyone to speak up, but I’ll show up prepared for conversation, not a monologue!
And let me know if you'd be interested in joining a 6 week small group coaching program with a structured curriculum focused on this work. Here's a draft promo page with more info. If at least 5 people want this, then I'll get it up and running! You can reply to this email or fill out this form to let me know!