Welcome to my newsletter!

You’re receiving this email because you selected "yes" to joining my newsletter when you registered for the webinar on Developing a Coaching Approach to Leadership that I offered through Library Juice Academy on Dec 7.

My focus is split between professional coaching and helping leaders develop a coaching approach to leadership.

There were some really great questions asked during the webinar that we didn’t get to, or that really needed more than a 5 minute response! I’ll be responding to those over the next few newsletters. And if you have more questions that you’d like to see me respond to, please send them my way!

Embracing mistakes as lessons

My first reaction to any vague hypothetical question like this is always: It depends!

My next reaction is to want to ask a whole lot of questions to explore the situation, and then ask what comes to mind for you to set things right. Exploring the situation with a coach or a critical friend can lead to a deeper realization of what was actually going on, which can lead to a better resolution. Sometimes, the mistake that you readily identify is only one part of a larger issue, and if you only address the visible layer without getting to the root, then similar mistakes will just keep happening.

In general, though, the simplest answer is to make a genuine apology, share what you see as the next steps, and ask what else would help to make things right. And then follow through on those next steps.

By being willing to offer a genuine apology - not explaining what you intended, why you thought that would be a good idea, or whatever, just a clear simple apology - and stay focused on doing better as you move forward, you model a learning culture in which it’s ok to view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

Treating mistakes as lessons to learn from, rather than as horrible things to avoid at all costs, is important in building the trust that you’ll need to effectively use a coaching approach as a leader. Coaching involves asking a lot of intentional questions designed to help someone work through to an answer that works for them. For that to be effective, they need to feel safe admitting when they don’t know something, or maybe need some additional training in a particular area, or are just struggling with a project that they feel like someone in their position should be capable of doing. That is asking for a lot of willingness to be vulnerable!

It’s not uncommon for employees to take a while to really open up, especially if they have had past experiences with supervisors who held any mistakes or shortcomings against them. When you model holding yourself to a “perfect” standard, then you unintentionally communicate that it’s not safe to let anyone know when you fall short of perfection. When you model this mindset of viewing mistakes as lessons and staying focused on moving forward, you implicitly communicate that it’s ok for them to admit to not being perfect, as well.

So, by making mistakes, owning them, apologizing, and staying focused on moving forward, you’re creating a safer space for your employees to admit to and find ways to address their mistakes and shortcomings, which contributes to building a coaching culture!

Of course, this isn’t a free pass to go treat people any old way. The mistakes I have in mind are things like being a little too direct the first time you have to give negative feedback, not patterns of behavior that create a hostile workplace.

One of my favorite parts of using a coaching approach is that, by embracing your curiosity and asking questions to work through ideas with your team, you no longer have to be the one with all of the answers - so you reduce your risk of giving wrong answers or bad advice.

Common mistakes for those starting to use a coaching approach take the form of asking leading questions or jumping to giving advice too quickly. If you’re comfortable being open with your team about trying out a new leadership style, then it’s pretty simple to stop yourself and either rephrase your question or actually ask a question, and be transparent that you’re still getting the hang of this! If you’re not comfortable being that open, and need to implement this approach more gradually, then these mistakes don’t necessarily even need to be acknowledged. Just make a mental note of how to do better next time!

We work through these challenges and more in my Developing a Coaching Approach to Leadership program, in a small group with a shared agreement to hold these conversations confidential. That confidentiality doesn’t help my marketing but is good for the participants!